When you’re trained as a nurse, you’re indoctrinated to think a certain way and to respect doctors and the big agencies without question. This carried into my birth when I was a patient myself for the first time as a laboring mama. I always dreamed of birthing as my ancestors did. To FEEL what they felt. To go through that sacred right of passage into being a mother. But I was unprepared and fell victim to the cascade of interventions. After my water broke, I was put on a clock. That clock was the beginning of the end of my dream birth. Doctor’s orders were to put me on pitocin and not long after those crazy strong contractions came an epidural.

But the next baby would be different, right? WRONG. I went into active labor and was doing great! But for some reason, again I was put on pitocin. WHY? I can’t even fathom why they would put someone who just got to the hospital on pit! Like damn, at least give me a chance! I again tried to tell them I didn’t want an epidural, but the nurses insisted it would be “better for me,” but what she really meant was EASIER FOR HER. The pitocin made the pain so bad, she got her way anyway.

Ok, my third baby…that one will be great! NOPE. My OB said she “wouldn’t let me” go past 40+3 because it’s dangerous. The GALL of that woman, who is she to LET me to do anything?! But did I question her? No. I trusted her and boy, do I regret that now. Just because this woman was the OBGYN that I had been seeing since I was 17, that didn’t mean she CARED about me. She made that clear, but it wouldn’t dawn on me under later, so I signed myself up for a full-blown induction of labor before my baby was even ready to come out. She didn’t even get to choose her own birthday, and that hurts my heart to this day.

After 2020 and since then, seeing medical experts be wrong about basically everything, I questioned anything anyone told me. I started digging and doing my own research and my family started living healthier and doing things that felt right to my motherly intuition. Not because someone in a white coat told me it was the right thing to do. I became pregnant with my fourth baby and I still planned on birthing in the hospital, so I went to the appointments, had the ultrasounds, and did the tests, but planned on doing more research for pain control.

At 32 weeks, they blindsided me and started telling me that if my baby didn’t go head down they were going to have to cut her out of me. I immediately went into panic mode. I know some moms have great satisfaction with their cesareans, but I was 0% interested. Not one iota of my being was comfortable with that. My brother was born breech and my mom always told me horrifying stories of her episiotomy, so I was apprehensive, but something inside me made me feel like that was the safer way to birth.

At this point, I started doing all the digging and researching about breeches and did all of the Spinning Babies things. I came upon Dr. Stu Fischbein’s podcast and everything changed. The way he talked about not just breeches, but all birth in a physiological way blew my mind. It made me question everything I was taught about labor and delivery in nursing school, but it all made sense. Why do we pathologize birth as a medical event? Who were we as medical professionals to mess with such a normal, natural, beautiful process? Let me tell you, that physiological birth rabbit hole is deep and I jumped right in and started learning about how perfectly a woman’s body is designed to birth her baby.

I started to tune into my body and decided to trust it. To trust the process of birth. I read books and every day was continuing to learn new things about physiological birth. After about 12 hours of early labor and an hour and a half of active labor, on August 17th at 2:55 am, I roared my baby out, just like my ancestors did before me. It was the most magical, miraculous thing I’ve ever done.

That favorite moment of mine set me off on this new adventure of helping other like-minded women find the strength in the themselves to birth the way they feel is right. If you’re like me and completely disenchanted by the hospital system and medical “experts” then come along this journey with me as we learn about birth the way it is supposed to unfold: naturally and undisturbed.