11. Mothering the Mother: The Importance of Postpartum Care

Congratulations, mama! You carried and birthed your precious bundle of joy. You have gone through nine months of emotional and physical changes, and now it is time for you to take a break and focus on your postpartum recovery. The postpartum period is an essential, and sadly often overlooked, part of childbirth. In this blog post, I will discuss the importance of postpartum care, what to expect during the postpartum period, and how to take care of yourself and your baby during this time.

It isn't just up to the mother to protect herself. We all need to do better. Society, as a whole, needs to start taking this time more seriously. Instead of rushing over because you "can't wait to hold the baby," let’s change our focus and start mothering the mother.

The Postpartum Period: What to Expect

The postpartum period is the time after childbirth when your body is recovering from pregnancy and birth. The postpartum period can last up to six weeks or longer (I mean, technically the rest of your life is postpartum😉.) During this time, you will experience many physical and emotional changes. Some common postpartum symptoms include vaginal bleeding, sore breasts, fatigue, mood swings (these are so very real and can be jarring), and difficulty sleeping (for the next 18 years and beyond).

I cannot overstate this, Mama. During the next 6 weeks, it is important to take it easy and allow yourself to recover fully from the process of pregnancy, labor, and birth. Your body has just gone through a significant transformation, and it needs time to heal. Make sure to get plenty of rest, eat nutritious foods, and drink lots of fluids. Rest is indispensable during the postpartum period, and getting enough sleep and bonding appropriately with your precious newborn can help reduce the risk of postpartum depression.

The Importance of Rest and Recovery

Rest and recovery are crucial aspects of postpartum care, yet they are often dismissed. Many new mothers feel the pressure to get back to their daily routine and to take care of their household and other responsibilities as soon as possible, but this can be detrimental to their physical and mental health.

After childbirth, the body needs time to heal and recover from the physical demands not just from labor and birth, but from the entire pregnancy itself. New mothers need to prioritize rest and allow their body to heal properly. This means taking the time to rest, sleep, and to relax as much as possible. It may also mean delegating household tasks to family members or hiring help, such as a postpartum doula, to take care of chores and errands.

Rest is not just vital for physical recovery; it is also essential for mental and emotional well-being. The postpartum period is a time of significant hormonal changes and emotional adjustment, and new mothers need time to process their feelings and bond with their baby. Rest allows for the necessary time and space to prioritize emotional and mental health needs.

Let me give you a little anecdote. If you’ve been following me for any amount of time, you’re probably already aware that I had three hospital births and one free birth. For my first three births, I rested for a little bit, but that pressure to get all the things done took over and I ended up jumping back into life too quickly. Now I do think other factors were at play like cord traction and a managed 3rd stage with my first three, but for my fourth baby, I was intentional about resting and doing the bare minimum for at least 6 weeks and my bleeding stopped COMPLETELY in two weeks. TWO weeks! I was bleeding for 8 weeks with my third and my OB said that it was “normal” to bleed for a longer amount of time with each subsequent pregnancy. Geniuses, all of them🙄. I’ve heard similar stories from other moms who have gone from hospital birth to home birth and the plural of anecdote is data, so rest cannot be understated here.

If you take anything away from this post, know that rest and recovery are crucial components of postpartum care, and should be prioritized by new mothers and their support system. This allows for proper physical healing, emotional well-being, and the opportunity to fully bond with their new baby.

Setting Boundaries with Family and Friends

It is also crucial to note that rest does NOT mean isolation. In fact, having a support system of family and friends can be incredibly beneficial during the postpartum period. This support can help alleviate stress and anxiety, provide emotional support, and offer a helping hand with household tasks, but it is paramount to have a plan for visitors in place. 

One of the best ways to set boundaries is to communicate your needs clearly with your loved ones. Let them know that you need time and that you will let them know when you are ready for visitors. It's also a good idea to limit the length of visits and the number of visitors at one time. This can help you avoid feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. Your partner needs to ensure that family members know the expectations for when they visit and that if they come over, they may not necessarily have the chance to hold the baby, but they would be welcome to bring a meal over. 

Make sure they know that this time is about mothering the mother. They don’t need to hold the baby. The new mom has that part down, but if they would like to come over and help out, they can if the family is ready. A few ideas to make life easier for the new family would be bringing over healthy freezer meals for the whole family or bringing over a hot healthy meal, doing the dishes, vacuuming a room, starting a load of laundry, and folding what’s in the dryer. Grandparents could take the older kids out for a playdate. If you are going to sit and talk with the new mom, let her lead the conversation. Hold space for her. This is not the time for story after story of YOUR birth experiences unless she specifically asks for them. DM me if you want to hear about my horrifying postpartum experiences🤯.

Do not be afraid you'll hurt someone's feelings, because honestly, it doesn't matter. You can be diplomatic, but if not letting someone hold the baby is going to hurt their feelings, that's on them, not you. This time is important to rest and bond and if they don't understand that, then it's on your partner to explain that to them, not you. Revel in this time and protect it because it is sacred.

During the postpartum period, it is so incredibly important to establish clear boundaries with family and friends. This is especially needed if you have opted for a home birth, as it can be tempting for loved ones to visit you at home to see the new baby. While it's natural to want to show off your new arrival, you must remember that the postpartum period is a time for rest, recovery, and bonding with your baby.

Nutritional Needs during Postpartum

Nutrition is vital during the postpartum period. Now is not the time to start slimming down and trying to fit into your skinny jeans! Your body needs extra nutrients to recover from pregnancy and childbirth, to produce breast milk, and to establish a healthy milk supply. It is crucial to eat a well-balanced diet that includes plenty of fruits, vegetables, and high-quality proteins - we’re talking animal meats here. Have a big juicy steak!

Protein is especially important during the postpartum period, as it helps your body repair tissues and build new cells. Some good sources of protein include beef, eggs, poultry, and fish. You must also stay hydrated and drink plenty of filtered water.

Dealing with Emotional and Mental Health Issues

The postpartum period can be an emotional rollercoaster for many new mothers, and it's important to be aware of the signs and symptoms of postpartum depression and anxiety. While it's common to experience mood swings and feel overwhelmed in the first few weeks after giving birth, persistent feelings of sadness, hopelessness, or anxiety may be a sign of something more serious.

If you're struggling with your mental health during the postpartum period, it's important to reach out for help. Talk to your midwife or doctor about how you're feeling, and don't be afraid to ask for a referral to a mental health professional. Counseling or therapy can be an effective way to work through your feelings and develop coping strategies.

In addition to professional help, there are also steps you can take to support your mental health during the postpartum period. Rest isn’t just good for your body’s recovery, but getting enough sleep is vital for your mind. Ensure you’re also eating a healthy diet and trying to go for a light walk. Taking time for yourself to relax and engage in self-care activities can also be helpful. It's okay to ask for help from family and friends, and to set boundaries to protect your mental health.

Remember that you're not alone. Many new mothers experience postpartum depression and anxiety, and there is no shame in seeking help. By taking care of your mental health during the postpartum period, you'll not only feel better, but you'll be better able to care for yourself and your baby.

The Role of Midwives and Doulas in Postpartum Care

Midwives and doulas are essential members of the birth team, and their role does not end with the birth of the baby. They provide continuous support during the postpartum period, ensuring that the mother and the baby are both healthy and well.

In the postpartum period, midwives and doulas play a crucial role in ensuring that the mother and baby are both healthy and well. They offer support and guidance on breastfeeding and infant care, ensuring that the mother has the tools and resources she needs to care for her baby. They also provide emotional support, helping the mother navigate the challenges of the postpartum period.

One of the benefits of having a doula during the postpartum period is that they can provide personalized care tailored to the mother's individual needs. They can offer guidance on nutrition, exercise, and self-care, ensuring that the mother is taking care of herself as well as her baby.

Midwives and doulas can also offer referrals to other healthcare professionals if needed. For example, if the mother is struggling with postpartum depression or anxiety, they can refer her to a mental health professional who can provide additional support and treatment.

 Bonding with Your Baby

The postpartum period is a critical time for bonding with your baby. Your baby needs to be with you 24/7 to imprint onto your brain. This is a time to get to know your baby's unique personality and needs, and to establish a strong attachment that will form the foundation of your relationship in the years to come.

One of the best ways to bond with your baby is through skin-to-skin contact. This involves holding your baby against your bare chest, which can help regulate their body temperature, heart rate, and breathing, and promote feelings of closeness and security. You can also bond with your baby through eye contact, talking to them, and responding to their cues.

Breastfeeding Support and Resources

Establishing breastfeeding requires that the mother-baby dyad is together constantly without interruption so that the baby can feed on demand throughout the first two weeks. Breastfeeding provides your baby with all of the essential nutrients and antibodies and promotes bonding between you and your baby. Breastfeeding can be challenging, especially in the early days and weeks.

Seek out support and resources if you feel like you are having issues to help you navigate any challenges you are facing. This can include consulting with a lactation consultant, joining a breastfeeding support group, or talking to other mothers who have breastfed their babies.

Returning to Sexual Activity after Childbirth

Returning to sexual activity after childbirth is a highly individual experience, and there is no right or wrong time to resume sexual activity. However, it's necessary to give your body time to heal and recover before engaging in sexual activity.

Your healthcare provider will likely recommend that you wait until your postpartum checkup, which typically occurs around six weeks after birth, before resuming sexual activity. This is to give your body time to heal from childbirth and to allow any tears to heal.

When you do decide to resume sexual activity, communicate with your partner about any discomfort or pain you may be experiencing, and take things slowly. You may also want to use additional lubrication to help reduce any discomfort.

Planning for Future Pregnancies and Births

While the postpartum period can be an intense and challenging time, it's also a time to begin thinking about future pregnancies and births. This can involve reflecting on your experience and considering what you might do differently in the future, as well as making plans for any future pregnancies.

This can involve discussing any concerns or questions you may have, as well as learning about different options and strategies for optimizing your health and wellness before and during your next pregnancy.

Remember that your postpartum period is a sacred time in which you and your baby are able to bond with each other and you are able to rest and recovery. By prioritizing your physical, emotional, and mental health, seeking out support and resources, and planning for the future, you can set yourself up for a successful and fulfilling postpartum period and pave the way for a healthy and happy life with your beautiful, new addition. Remember to communicate your needs and boundaries with loved ones, enlist the help of professionals like midwives and doulas, and make self-care a priority. Every mother deserves to be cared for and supported during this transformative time, and by focusing on your own needs and those of your baby, you can create a strong foundation for a positive postpartum experience.

Ultimately, mothering the mother is about recognizing the value of your well-being and its role in your ability to care for and nurture your baby. By taking care of yourself during the postpartum period, you are not only benefitting your own health and happiness, but also laying the foundation for a strong and healthy relationship with your child. 

Per the usual, none of this is medical advice. Please consult your intuition and your conscience before making any decisions❤️